On this fictitious letter to, I would like to show that we can meet people who are a bit beyond the average very easily and they do not need to be a mass murderers or criminals. Some research acknowledges that with some degree of psychopathy may suffer one in every thirty people, so it is likely that we might have such person at work. However, it is up to us whether we can discern what lies behind their pleasant and decent mask. Only we can avoid abuse or injuries stemming from a relationship with someone like that.
… I decided to write you a letter, because I don’t want to continue communicating with you in the real life. We have tried many times. Many times we set boundaries and rules that we always broke. Fortunately, because of that I could have drawn a strong enough line after what little we had in common. Not everyone is so lucky. On the other hand, I do not regret anything, it was a valuable experience.
Why I use the word “psychopath”? Maybe you’re just a self-centered, manipulative or less sensitive. Maybe it’s little bit more. Remember I told you once that you were a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Since then it has remained in my head. Hunter waiting for his prey. But that’s not all. There are other reasons why you could be one of them. Here they are.
• If people get to know you in a close relationship, you’re completely different than it seemed. Your life is a sham. You act as a quiet, kind man. Someone once said that you could be locked up only for excessive politeness. In fact you do not act with respect to others, you can be aggressive, dominant and you enjoy to control others. You are not ashamed to be amoral and act on your urges.
• You love to play games. Everyone has, to some extent, like playing games. Yours, however, are built above everything else. Do care only whether the other is a challenge for you and whether you can beat them. The feeling of victory excites you.
• You are self-centered and prone to narcissistic narratives. However the lives of others have little interest to you. You don’t dare to tell stories that make you a spineless man or mentally disturbed individual, and neither you realize in what light they are portraying you. You find them interesting, you like to shock others. That’s why you told me about your mistresses, sexual deviances, demonic possessions…
• You can offer your company, support, even pretend to have feelings, but only if it means that you will get for what you asked. You are certainly not devoted husband, loving father or a reliable friend. Others are there primarily for you, not the opposite. Trust is an unknown word for you.
• You lie and cheat. There are times when you will agree on anything, just to get what you want, and then you break your word. “I am a man, those are not to be trusted.” The fact that you’re not completely unknown man, at that moment, seems irrelevant to you. Likewise you do not follow your beliefs. While you are the faithful, moral values are strange to you.
• Empathy is unfamiliar word for you. Even any feelings are taboo. You cannot understand that you can hurt others with your actions and if so, you do not know how it feels.
• If someone asks or expects something from you, they usually do not get it. Conversely, if those expressed admiration and flattering, they might reach almost anything. Associated with reverse psychology, which is a challenge for you to play, it’s a clear path to success.
• You are a loner. Your relationships are superficial, just like ours. You do not want to have a deep emotional bond, because than could happen, what you fear most. Others might find out who you are, and leave you. It happened once before, when your brother was born. You felt pushed away. Maybe that’s why you’re doing everything not to repeat the feeling that you love someone and need them, and they will not return it back to you.
• You have no conscience. All you are doing is justifiable. You think that you deserve more than others. You are never ashamed of your actions or apologetic.
• You cannot talk openly and honestly and be accountable for your actions. You are constantly hiding behind irony and hyperbole.
• Not to be only negative, you have certain advantages, for example, you’re intelligent. In addition, you have no fear of rejection. You do not take things personally. “No” to you is not an obstacle but a challenge. You have enough patience to go for your goal. You love risking and adrenaline.
Thanks for reading, my dear psychopath. It is very difficult, if possible, to have a relationship with someone like you. But you know that. Therefore, you are looking for those in which you have control, where you are able to use the partner and you don’t have deeper feelings than it is save for you, as you admitted.
Be prone to psychopathy is of course not just bad. Certain professions attract such people. Imagine if your surgeon would collapse under great stress, would be unable to decide coldly, without emotions, would be too sympathetic with a patient … In some situations, it is certain plus to be not empathetic and coldly calculative, but I’m not sure if this is the case of a partnership.