We can bump our head against a wall only a few times. Sooner or later it will hurt us. To “bang someone’s head against a wall” is an English expression that means to cope with insoluble problems or obstacles or unnecessarily waste of time. This may relate to anything, but it evokes mainly unbalanced relationships to me. It does not have to be life threatening, as in the unfortunate celebration of Valentine’s Day at home of the runner Oscar Pistorius. Some tragic consequences, however, in such kind of relationships can be happen to all of us. Many of us have met a person who behaved unfairly to us in some point of our lives. They may have used us emotionally, physically, mentally or even financially. If you have not, you can congratulate yourself. Unequal relationship is like a game in which we are unwilling puppets and in the effort to change things we hit the wall – the wall of our own inability to escape. If we have ever faced this relationship, we know that we cannot win. It does not matter if we try to be nice to our exhaustion, help, argue or recede endlessly. None of this matters. Manipulative partner must always win, and they do not care what havoc they leave behind. They are trying to alter our values, needs and desires – to their own. And it’s working, because they know exactly where to push to get their way. In this example I offer three types of personality manipulators. Are you able to you find yours?
- It ‘s all about drawing the attention, the pomp, the audience, they need someone who will admire and follow them.
- They choose professions where they can dominate the weaker, abusing their power or system.
- They won’t be grateful to their partner for their support and hard work. For this manipulative person his/her favors always come first.
- They do not care whether they abuse their mother, partner or friend, until their needs are met they will carry on.
- Unlike narcissistic person (self-centered) they do not thrive applause, but they need somebody they can take advantage of.
- They can create a sense of closeness with anyone, especially if they find the one who meets their needs.
- They leave us emotionally empty, exhausted.
- You’ll never know what mood they wake up to, they blow up and will curse because of insignificant things and then act as if nothing had happened.
- They must always be in the center of the perception of their partner, they take for granted that their partner will focus mainly on them.